just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i love accidental penises.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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