That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
