im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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