Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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