Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The Olympian is in my bed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
