Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
