Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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