I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
