I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
