It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
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The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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