Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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