There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
