god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
