If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Less talking, more tequila
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
