there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't think brook has ever known best
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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