Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Panties = found
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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