My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
