We're like a lot better than the average bears
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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