so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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