My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
