guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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