Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
