Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked