Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?