are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
