and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you remember whose house we're in?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf