So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
