Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?