yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
