I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
