And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
