I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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