very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
