imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
