I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
