He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
