This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
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My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize