Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
