So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
