u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
