I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
