i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
