I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
