there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
