I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
