i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
