Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
