Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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