i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
