I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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