I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
