His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
