i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize