i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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