Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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