Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
