waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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