So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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