I just pynch a tree in the face
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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