Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I want her autograph on my taint
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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