So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
