Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
