Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
