i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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