I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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