Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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