get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
