i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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