She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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