Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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