You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
