Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
