I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
